The Learning Process and Why Your Struggles are Perfectly Normal

Learning an instrument is an incredibly vulnerable thing to do—especially as an adult.

As adults, we’re used to being competent at most things we do.

Learning an instrument, like the harp, puts us in a position where… we might not be.

Suddenly, we’re in a position where we can see so many people who are better than us, and we find ourselves struggling in ways we’re not used to.

It can be easy to be extremely critical of yourselfas you’re trying to learn.

But here’s the truth: learning is messy, and mistakes are a natural part of it.

As a teacher, I often see students being too hard on themselves for things that are completely normal—and even necessary—parts of the learning process. I want to share some thoughts that might help you shift your mindset, so that playing the harp can be more about joy and less about making you feel bad about yourself.

Some Very Normal Things You Might Be Mistaking For Failure

One common frustration I see is students getting upset when they don’t nail something on the first try. Whether it’s playing with a metronome for the first time, trying a new fingering, or stringing multiple sections of music together, there’s often this sense of, “If I were any good at the harp, I’d be able to just do this.”

But let’s reframe that: you’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet. You’re learning. Learning isn’t the same as “learned.” You’re in the messy middle, where things are still coming together.

Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re part of the process. They’re a sign that you’re actively learning, not falling short.

Another common frustration happens when something you’re playing well falls apart as soon as you add a new focus—maybe thinking about dynamics or shifting attention to your left hand. This is completely normal.

Playing music requires juggling a lot at once. Every time you “throw another ball into the mix,” you might stumble for a bit, and that’s okay. With practice and patience, it will come together.

Or, do you ever feel like you could play something perfectly yesterday, but today you just can’t seem to do it?

Learning is not always linear. When something isn’t rock solid, it just means there’s an area that needs a little reinforcing. It’s not a sign that you’re bad at this—it’s just part of the process.

How Your Brain Learns

Something you need to understand, that I hope will help you be kinder to yourself, is how the process of learning actually works.

It doesn’t work as if you flick a switch and can suddenly do it perfectly.

What happens is that, every time you do anything, neurons in your brain fire.

And there’s a famous saying, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

What that means is that when those neurons fire at the same time, a connection is formed between them, like an electrical wire. And every time you do that same action, the connection is reinforced.

As you repeat the action, that wire gets thicker and stronger, and it makes it more likely that you’ll repeat that action in the future.

Or to use another metaphor, it’s like a game trail in the forest. You start out with just grass and no path.

Then a little mouse runs down and creates a tiny path.

Then a little bunny hops down it and starts bending the grass a little.

Then a fox, then a deer, and as that trail gets run on over and over again, the path becomes clearer and easier to walk down.

Now imagine trying to drive a car down the game trail. It’s not really going to work! You’ll still be running into trees.

You have to keep widening that trail and make it more suitable for a car.

Every time you play, you’re making those connections stronger. Even if it’s under tempo, or you hesitate, or you make a mistake, it’s a step on that tiny path, making it wider and smoother.

And here’s a quick practice tip: When you do something correctly, repeat it a few times to strengthen those connections.

Embrace the Journey

All those messy, imperfect attempts? They’re not obstacles to be avoided—they’re the road to your goal. Sculptors don’t tap a block of marble and reveal a perfect statue in one go. They chip away at it bit by bit, refining as they go.

Your music is the same. Every misstep, every trial and error, every imperfect playthrough is part of the process.

They’re not deviations—they’re steps along the path to your destination.

So all of this is to say, when you make mistakes during your practice, or during your lesson, it’s not a sign that you’re doing something wrong or that you’ve failed.

You haven’t failed.

Because you’re not done yet. You’re still in the middle, and you’re learning. And you’re doing great.

You’ve got this. Happy harping!

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